Combating Picky Eaters

Early in our marriage, before any kids entered the picture, my husband and I agreed that our household would hold little tolerance for picky eaters. While others laughed and said, "just you wait..." or made their own disproving comments, we have been rather impressed by our children and their pallets. Others have been impressed by what they see our children eat, and especially impressed by what they see our children try. While I strongly believe that children are each unique and some kids are just pickier than others, I do believe that there are certain approaches and foundations that can help combat picky eaters or prevent them all together.

Truths:

1.  The only food that is "bad" or "gross" is food that has actually spoiled or a substance that is, in fact, harmful to eat. 

Just because you do not care for something, or prefer not to eat it does not in any way make the food itself bad or gross. Be careful in your wording and expression. 

Occasionally in a restaurant, my son has entertained himself with creating his own concoction at the table using leftover sauces and ingredients remaining on the table. While sometimes I want to gag at the thought of it, I have to restrain myself when I want to save him the disgust of trying what he has just made. Instead, we smile at his creativity and support his attempt at trying what he has just made. After all, there is nothing in the mess that would harm him. Usually he is proud of himself, and will just smile as he tastes it then says he doesn't want to eat any more. Other times he will admit that he didn't think it tasted very good and we will discuss how he could make it better, or suggest starting more simple next time. 

2.  There is no way to know you enjoy something or not unless you try it. 

Looks and smells can be deceiving. Even previous experience can be deceiving. The same ingredient can be prepared multiple ways and sometimes you will love it and other times you won't. There are a few foods my son doesn't care for- one of them being cream cheese. He gags and spits it out every time, yet every time he sees someone eating a bagel with cream cheese, he still wants one. As positive as I am that he won't care for it, if he wants to try a bite, he most definitely can try a bite, and I will encourage it. He use to have the same response to tomatoes too, and although he still doesn't really enjoy them, he also doesn't seem to mind them too much anymore. Taste buds change and your body can react differently in different circumstances, so food always deserves another chance.

3. There is no such thing as "kid food"

Why are hot dogs, chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, etc. so often labeled as kid food? I enjoy those things too every once in awhile, in fact, I think many other adults do too. But, the reverse can be just as true. Kids may love a good filet mignon, some crispy calamari, or starting their meal with a refreshing salad. The truth is that everyone's palette is just different.  All ages can enjoy food that is both simple or complex, and nutritious or indulgent.

Rules:

1.  We only speak positively about food at the dinner table. 

Expressing appreciation and enjoyment of a meal is absolutely appropriate and very encouraged. You have to at least try everything, then you if you don't care for something in particular, our rule is to "keep it a secret." You are only expected to try it, you are not expected to like it, but nobody needs to know. This will help prepare them for when they eat at someone else's table, but it also prevents enforcing a bias on other siblings. 

2.  Never assume that someone will not like something. 

This follows after truth #2, but is an especially important rule for me. Just because most kids don't like _____ who's to say my kids won't? I have been surprised many times by the things my kids like, and even the foods they love, so I try to keep an open mind in preparing and presenting food to them.
I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered my second child loved brussle sprouts before he was even 2.  I made them for dinner one night, and he just could not get enough of them. When he finished his plate, he reached over to finish off the rest of mine, and even starting climbing across the table to serve himself some more. As crazy as it seems, he continues to get excited when he sees me preparing them for dinner. 

3.  Do not force your kids to eat.

Kids are better than adults at listening to when their body needs food and when they are full. The only rules I set that govern what they eat is that they must eat a specified amount of balanced, nutritious food before any treats. 

With that said, if they are not hungry, they do not have to force themselves to eat. I will likely save their plates so that I have something ready for them to eat when they are hungry.  I also make sure they at least try or eat a portion of everything served to them before taking second helpings of their favorite dishes. They are still expected to sit at the table with us even if they are choosing not to eat, but they are allowed to get down when we are finished. They are just not allowed to eat anything else until I'm satisfied with the attempt they've made at their meal. 

Listening to your body when it is satisfied goes a long way. I have seen my toddler turn away a cookie at the end of his meal because he took one little nibble and realized he was full. I offered to save it for him for later and I was very proud of his self control and his awareness of his body.